There's been alot of activity going on around here lately. God stuff. Forcing me to look at my habits and comfort zones stuff. Besides the writing stuff and the praying stuff and the art stuff. God stuff. Like Him asking me what I'm ready to give Him. What will I die for? How much of me am I willing to let Him use? How much of me am I willing to let Him change? When I pray the Jabez prayer, (1Chronicles 4:10) how much do I truly want Him to enlarge my territory?
How much do I mean it?
I find myself surrounded by people who are truly gifted at intercessory prayer, powerful worship and a sense of God's Holy Spirit down here in my trenches, where it hurts, where it matters most, where the needs are the greatest. And I'm finding I fit. It's like putting on a new sweater that was especially made for me. It feels like an old friend, right out of the box. It's broken in at all the right places; the material is soft, like I've never felt before. It's not a comfort thing. It's more of a marvel, that this was here all the time and I never knew it existed.
And I find myself weeping, with gratitude, that I am allowed to experience this.
My self-imposed Sabbatical was more God stuff. His Will, not mine, was at work. Leading me along these new roads, stretching me out of my comfortable shape into an new mold, all in preparation for the work that's ahead.
And again I weep, not only with gratitude, but in Worship.