I Don't Feel Like It!

I've been sick lately. Not an allergy/cold/headache-y sick...

I've had an ongoing chronic health issue that's gotten worse over the last two months. It makes me feel very tired and well, crappy.

Stuff has started to pile up.

Sigh.

I know there's stuff I should be doing.... but I don't feel like it.

I have piles of papers with snippets of wisdom on them...(tweets? blog posts?)

Paragraphs that could be the start of awesome articles...(book chapters? articles for publication?)

I just don't feel like it.

Add the usual "shoulds" to my daily routines--clean the house (because the kitchen floor is adhesive in spots)/ cook real food (because the take-out places are starting to recognize my voice) /and the most important one,

God is still waiting for me.

Yes, there have been times when I've left Him by the wayside... because I didn't feel like ...

Praying...

Reading His Word...

Talking to Him in some other tone than whining....

I sat in my own little corner, moaning my body's betrayal, not feeling like doing anything about it.

But then today... I could choose to not feel like it...or choose to do it anyway.

If I failed, I would be no worse off that I've been over the last two months. But if I was successful in my attempt...?

Please don't misread what I'm saying here. I truly had (and continue to have) a health issue that wipes me out so completely, I sometimes don't make it to the bathroom from the bedroom (a span of 12 feet). I made a pan of lasagna the other day that resulted in a 3 hour nap. There are 'invisible illnesses' that are truly devastating to experience and affect many women's daily lives. I have had a glimpse into their world and can be so empathetic to their circumstances.

I can only speak for myself.

I chose to do a long devotion today, even though I really didn't feel like it.

God was waiting for me--and graciously poured out His wisdom and love on me.

In His strength, He will guide me! In His unfailing love, He will Lead me!...the Lord tested the Israelites...'For I am the LORD who heals you!' (Exodus 15-NIV) Promise after promise. No hand slap because I've been away--He knows the afflictions I've had. I'm not condemned for my feelings.

And neither are you.

The mess may still be there. You still may not feel like doing anything about it.

Choose to feel like it. Even when you don't want to. And watch what my God will do.

I'm So Tired of the Crap.

I've been the recipient of an awful lot of crap lately. The last few months have been instance after instance of bad manners, thoughtless gestures, health issues and a general feeling of I-say-what-goes-and-there-isn't a darn-thing-you-can-do-about-it.

You may have gleaned I don't do well in this environment.

I brought my concerns to the Lord. I know He has only good planned for me. (Romans 8:28)

I pleaded for Him to show me His wisdom and comfort through these trials. I got more trials.

I I held onto His promise that He would not forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6,7) Verse 8 says

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." [bold letters mine]

But I was discouraged.

I cried out to the LORD, about the unfairness, the injustice; the crap I've been handed.

He listened.

He forced me to look at my hand in the incidents; I wasn't getting off scot-free.

Some mistakes were mine; I had not had all the facts. But I am not responsible for the actions of others.

As far as it had depended on me, I had done the right things. And it was affirmed to me.

Matthew 5:37 (NIV) states it plain--

" Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No', 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one."

There will be friendships lost; those seasons are over. Feelings may be hurt.

That's too bad.

I want God's approval, not the world's or the enemy's.

And His grace is sufficient for me.

Got Baggage?

Baggage. We are on day 5 of a 15 day vacation and I'm pretty well fed up with my baggage. In my haste to remember everything, I find myself needing to search through various nooks and crannies of each suitcase to find the needed item. Thank you technology--but so many WIRES! So much STUFF! I missed worshiping with my home church, but I went on the website and was able to catch last week's sermon--(I had been leading God-Tham City kids, our kid's church so I was pleased to find the sermon I missed.) If you would like to view the sermon, please visit KLFC.org .

The visiting Pastor, Dr. Bez, spoke on the fourth chapter of Jonah--"Jonah and the...(I won't give it away)", but my mind wandered a bit back to a day I had a "Jonah" experience--back in 1997. My mom was suffering with cancer and was about to start on the grueling chemo/radiation regimen that may or not save her life.

Now, please understand, I was an unruly teenager once upon a time (yes, I know it's hard to believe--but maybe not for some of you). The daughter my mother remembered was not a very nice person, but given mom's health concerns, this was the only possible alternative.

I, on the other hand, also remembered the rocky times--the difference was I had accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior since then and knew taking care of my mom was the right thing to do.

BUT--in remembering our past and our 'baggage', I copped a Jonah attitude. Why should I show her my Jesus? After the way she treated me? I'm the first to admit, I really didn't want to. I was a lot like Jonah with the Ninevites, deciding myself that they (mom) didn't deserve salvation...well, maybe they (she) did, but it wasn't gonna come from me!

God's pruning/growth spurts HURT!

Knowing the caretaker role I was embarking on, God started to show me my mother through His eyes, not the woman I remember, but a lost soul who needed saving, carrying her own baggage. I was suddenly able to see clearer and do for her as if I were doing all for Jesus, despite my own baggage (which I noticed was getting a little lighter each day.)

Like Jonah, I had to learn the tough lesson by being willing to accept and trust God for the outcome..

My willingness, plus seeing the relationship between my husband and I, helped to show Jesus to my mother. Four months before cancer took her life, she did accept Jesus Christ as her Savior. We still had our moments, and some unpacked luggage, but we both knew that peace that passes all understanding.....the kind that can only come from Jesus.

Toxic Friends

Storm's brewin'. I remember watching the skies before this one hit. I had just made it home when the skies opened up. Raindrops like paintball splotches on my shirt. Wind whipping trash and leaves down my street. Take in the perishables but leave the rest of the groceries in the car until after the rain stopped. Storms.

I had an experience Monday that struck me worse than a storm. A friendship I have done my best to maintain needed to be terminated.

It had lasted, in its crippled state, for fifteen years. She had always had a sarcastic mouth, was quick with a put-down--those seemingly innocent zingers that annoyed, and sometimes drew blood--yet always given with a quick laugh to show she was 'only joking' (Wassamatter? Can't you take a joke?)

I hadn't seen her for 6 months--about the time we were led by God to change churches. This was not a decision we took lightly--we pled for God to make His leading crystal clear, for we wanted to be totally obedient to His wooing. God gently but firmly gave His direction and we acted on it.

Within the last six months, still pleading with God to show me what to do about this situation, I reached out with a couple text messages, telling her I missed her. They were answered in that passive aggressive tone--a pattern I recognized all too well.

Monday, I had the opportunity to make a hospital visit, knowing she would be there too.

From the time I arrived, the old zingers appeared. But I could only look at her with sadness.

When I first met her, I accepted the sarcasm, the putdowns, and such; knowing she had been hurt by people in the past and this was her defense mechanism to head off being hurt again. I accepted the crumbs and worked at showing her His love as best I knew how.

Her behavior continued, as did her habits.

Something in me decided ENOUGH! on Monday.

I ignored her comments that interrupted my conversation, but was acutely aware of the passive aggression displayed there.

I cut my visit short--said polite good-byes, and left.

I brought this to the LORD in my devotional time this morning. In my journaling, I have a section called "Admits' where I come clean with what's bugging me, holding me back, and things that are consuming me, whether real or percieved. I started to write-

I'm having a hard time dealing with X's treatment of me. Her passive--aggressive thing hurt, then made me sad, for both her and her husband. I am not responsible for the actions of others. As far as it depended on me--I was peaceful, calm, and collected, but I will not put myself in such a toxic situation again. I've been nothing but kind and friendly to her over the years and I deserve better than this from her!

I paused. As soon as I wrote the words down, I felt His sweet small voice--

I know what you're going through. I deserve to be treated better, too.

Here, I'm wanting to be treated better, because I deserve better than the treatment I've been getting. You feel this way too, don't You Lord; You certainly deserve to be treated better and they killed You. Thank You for showing me this, so I may understand better. I wrote it down in my art journal so the words wouldn't slip away-

Betrayal, deceit, gossip, slander--I accepted the crumbs, because you were not able to give yourself over to genuine friendship--that was when we first met. It's been over 15 years now, I deserve better than this from you. I was saddened by your response to my attempt to 'be there for you'. Sarcasm? Put downs? No thank you.

LORD, You have shown me the grief in me--I need to let myself grieve--and get past it. The best way I know how is to run to You.

So here I am to worship...

Adding Prayer to Lent - Day 32

The continuing saga of the furnace continues...and I have a confession to make. With all the running around to be sure the furnace guys had all they needed and the keeping the dogs from freaking out over their change in routine, I have been running around this house like a chicken with my head cut off. It's Saturday, and I had plans of cleaning the kitchen floor (it REALLY needs it!) I also had some other things on my to-do list. However, Friday night I fell asleep in the recliner (again) and, as a result, did not get the restful sleep I had hoped for. Thus, my whole day was kind of out of whack. I was also short with my husband, which is not a usual occurance. It was a Romans 7 thing...the things I don't want to do I end up doing, and the things I want to do I don't do.

I sent up a quick prayer/Cyn/Psalm style-- "O LORD, deliver me-- I don't like this behavior in me, but I don't seem to not like it enough to change it. O LORD, deliver me. Show me...help my unbelief...

And then it hit me...

I hadn't prayed.

I had been too much "Martha" and not enough "Mary".

O Lord, forgive me for trying to do life in my own strength today.

I need Thee; Oh, I need Thee! Ev-'ry hour I need Thee! Oh, bless me now, My Saviour; I come to Thee! (I Need Thee Every Hour--Annie S. Hawks,1835-1918/Robert Lowry,1826-1899)

Am I really surprised that the enemy was able to gain a foothold?

Storm Damage- Conclusion

What happens to those who are so firmly wedged into the lies of this world; who choose to ignore the small, still voice of God? What if we don't realize the error of our ways? What if we've fit ourselves so comfortably in the world's views and opinions that our behavior no longer seems like sin to us?

It will be too late.

"...Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."(1 Peter 5:8 NIV)

Storm Damage-Part 2

The lilac bush had been around a long time--at least the fifteen years we have lived in the house. This branch that broke was not one I had slated for removal. It was one of the stronger ones with great flowering potential. Yet now it was dead wood. As I continued to saw my way through, the tiny teeth left a pile of fine powder sawdust around the blade. It looked like it was barely making a dent.

But that's where I was wrong. When I removed the saw to see my progress, there was indeed a cut in the wood; I remember being surprised at how deep it was. Heartened now, I continued.

I thought again about the seemingly little progress I was making. A secret sin or a bad habit--really anything contrary to God's precepts--can chip away at our resolve to conduct ourselves in a manner pleasing to God. We can justify subtle lies when they're wrapped in noble intentions. The behavior becomes so ingrained that we wake up one day, and hopefully realize our error.

But the consequences of our behavior will happen.

We will be left to clean up the mess.

Storm Damage-Part 1

Back in October 2011, Pennsylvania got hit with an unexpected snow storm. The heavy, wet snow wreaked havoc on many trees and caused widespread damage. In my own yard, the lilac bush took the brunt of the hit.In preparation to trim the lilac, I went out to the shed, looking for a pair of pruners. Upon closer inspection of the broken branch, I determined a saw would be in order. However, all I could find in the shed was a small hacksaw type of tool. As I began to saw away, I noticed the tiny teeth the blade had. This was going to take awhile. Nevertheless, I persevered. As those tiny teeth kept cutting through the branch, I couldn't help but see the similarity between it and sin in our lives.

How many times do we pass off a little sin as "Oh, it won't matter" or "Nobody will find out" or the ever popular,"That's not really wrong, is it"?

Here's a hint--If you're asking that question or find yourself strongly defending it? It probably is.

The Attitude of Gratitude

Did you ever have a day where one little thing wreaked havoc on an otherwise perfect experience? Maybe you found that perfect color blouse to match those pants--only to find an ugly stain on the back...

Or the cute shoes that will set off your new outfit--only to discover they didn't have your size...

(and one for the guys) You finally decided to spring for that big screen TV for the BIG game--only to find out all they had left was the 13" ones and the massive 72" one that wouldn't fit in any vehicle you've ever owned; never mind the price, which was 8x the amount you had in mind...

The experience I had was with a lipstick. Yes, trivial I know. But a disappointment just the same.

You see, I have dogs. Three of them. And while I love them dearly and get great pleasure from owning these rescued-from-abusive-situations pups, I DO NOT love their hair in my purse. ESPECIALLY ON MY FAVORITE LIPSTICK!

I chose to look at the facts. --Dog hair happens. --My lipstick was still useable (after a quick wipe). --My lipstick wasn't melted all over the inside of my purse. --It wasn't really that big a deal (except for my initial 'EWWW') --And the biggie-it wasn't worth throwing a fit over!

I seem to get alot of exercise 'jumping' to conclusions. I think I'd do better to 'exercise' my faith instead.

"My attitude should be like that of King Jesus...(Philippians 2:5-my translation)"

The Daniel Fast - Day 21 - The Final Day

Praise God from Whom ALL Blessings Flow! Today is day 21--the official 'last day' of the Daniel Fast. Technically, the fast ends at my church's covered dish meal after tomorrow's Sunday service. I'm not sure what I'll be eating at the dinner. We've gotten used to this list of foods and plan to introduce meat, cheese and eggs back in slowly so we don't upset our systems. It's been an interesting journey for me. God has shown Himself to me in different ways through this fast.

A stronghold has been broken; food doesn't have the same addicting attraction now as it did before. My tastes have changed. I can be satisfied with less and I'm craving different nourishment. God's Holy Spirit has been wooing me for almost a year with this scripture:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2 NIV)

I've read it, had it spoken to me, meditated on it, focused on it, and published an article on it.

God has indeed transformed my mind about how I look at food. Even food shopping today, buying the items I'll be preparing tomorrow morning for the dinner, I didn't slip into my old habits of picking up the same sweet treats. Oh, I looked at them. But I walked by without stopping. I even went the other way to avoid the donut case and the chocolate croissant bin.

A renewed mind. A different view of food. Changed perspective.

He has transformed my view of Him too.

Did you ever meet someone and just knew this person was somebody that you will delight in knowing? That you will be friends immediately? And after you met them, and talked a little, you were delighted to find you were right and they turned out to be even a more excellent friend than you thought possible? And the more you talked and shared, the more you wanted to continue doing just that? And then you feel like this person really understands you; they get you and words are not so important but the closeness is?

Yeah. Like that.

But more.

A renewed mind.

The Daniel Fast-Day 20

Today was a wonderful day. But by my former standards, it was lacking. You see, I like to feel productive. As an artist and writer, I always have a running to-do list. I have art projects in various stages of completion, things I can work on for anywhere from 15 minutes to 5 hours. My laptop is always at the ready, waiting for the next stray idea to be caught, fussed over and whittled into a coherent article. I've always needed to be able to check things off a list, then look back to view my accomplishments--a record of my productivity. However, today took a different twist. Today I had the opportunity to cruise along; go with the flow as it were. His flow, that is. God put people into my path today that needed to talk. And I got to share God's Word and apply it to real life experiences. Today I got to come along side and be in the trenches. My Bible study consisted of people, not words.

And I was reminded, yet again, that my daily plans are not always in God's daily plan. He needed me to speak to people today for Him. Oh, there wasn't anything wrong with my plans--they are still needing to be done. It's ok with me when God rearranges my priorities. But I've stopped feeling disappointed when I don't get to check things off my list.

Besides, God got to check some things off of His list.

The Daniel Fast - Day 19

In reading over some older journals, I kept running across the phrase from Romans 12:1,2:

"...offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world..."

The world, if television commercials are any indication, says we must buy the bigger "extra-value" meal, buy the 48 oz. Super Gulp drink, eat at the "endless buffets" and even buy the cheap, filling $5 box of assorted tacos.

Eating the foods on the Daniel Fast has given me a new perspective on the meaning of these Scriptures. I truly am able to offer my body as a living sacrifice to God. This is a new concept to me. I have always been of the group that ate until they were satified, (versus eating until I was stuffed,) then asked God to bless my self-control. I would stop at the local fast food store and feel good about not supersizing my choices. My thinking was skewed.

I see now, God wants me to check with Him first. In doing things this way, I am able to discern if I am at all truly hungry at all. More and more often, the answer has been, "No My child. Come sit here with Me."

What a joy fills my soul in this new-found direction of fellowship with God!

The Daniel Fast - Day 18

I've had alot of people in my life needing prayer today. Between surgeries, stresses, and dear ones the LORD has brought to mind, it's been a busy day for my arthritic knees. As a prayer warrior, I am used to being called upon to pray. I count it a privilege--I don't have to pray; I get to pray. But it wasn't always so... Back when I first became a Christian, I asked the LORD what He wanted me to do for Him. In my own reasoning, I came up with the two things I felt most qualified to do at the time--cook and pray. Whenever someone needed a meal, I was one of the first ones called. I was also in charge of the 'nurture commitee'. I was the one who called the shut-ins on a weekly basis to let them know they were not forgotten. During my calls, I sometimes heard of prayer requests for family members, which turned into impromptu prayer chains. I remember some days when my telephone time turned into a very long day.

I would sometimes start to resent having to make these calls and having to sit and listen to these people go on and on about their children and grandchildren. It took Jesus making Matthew 11:28-30 come alive for me to remember why I was doing this:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (emphasis mine)

I was to learn directly from Jesus.

He is the reason I pray with and for others.

It is with joy I got to pray for my friends today.

The Daniel Fast - Day 17

I spoke to a friend today about the Daniel Fast. He couldn't understand how I could choose to give up the foods that are not 'allowed'. I started to explain that it wasn't for forever, it's only for 21 days, but I had to add that I felt very well and may continue the fast after the appointed time! He was shocked, and we parted, him still shaking his head.I later went food shopping. As I walked up and down the aisles, I looked at all the food items I used to buy. I felt a familiar tug, but it was a very tiny tug. I did not feel compelled to buy any of it for 'after'--even the things I used to buy because I had to have it.

Many of my favorites, ice cream, pizza, waffles, bagels and the deli section (I'm big on cheese) no longer seem to hold as much appeal. I wavered a bit around the steaks but found it easy to walk away without putting any of it in my cart.

I started to think about grace. His grace. That wonderful grace that passes all understanding. His grace truly is sufficient for whatever I'm going through.

And that's enough for me.

The Daniel Fast - Day 16

The peace continues!Today's post comes directly out of my reading in "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts

A More Glorious Way

You have read that "the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" (2 Corinthians 3:6). I have a deeper revelation of this truth to give you if you can recieve it. For the Spirit operates in a different realm than the Word. The Word deals with you on the plane of your everyday living. It governs your conduct in daily affairs...

But in the Spirit, there is a life awaiting that would draw you out beyond the confines of the natural world. The Spirit of God operates in the realm of the supernatural and the infinite.

Do not hold back in wonder and disbelief. Accept My life in the Spirit as it is. Do not require Me to operate within the limitations of your life. I am calling you to give My Spirit within you the liberty to move out into the dimensions of the infinite.

Breathtaking? Perhaps. But how could you expect anything less of Me? Push open the door. In the dazzling light of My presence you will see much that is now obscure to you because you have chosen to walk in the darkness. I have better things for you--things in keeping with Myself. You have not truly known Me. You have been hindered in your comprehension by what you have read and been taught. There is very little more concerning Me that you can learn from human sources. You can know Me in the Spirit only when you go deeper in your worship. I am not found in textbooks but in sanctuaries...Only the heart that is melted in devotion is pliable in My hand. Only the mind that is open to the Spirit can recieve revelation.

Labor not to be wise but to be yielded, and in your attitude of submission to My Spirit I will instruct you in My truth. There will be death and there will be a glorious resurrection. The letter will convict of sin and prune away the old fallen nature, and the Spirit will bring forth within you a life that will never die. It will have faculties of perception not to be compared with the physical senses...It shall increase and develop as you move on into God, and you will...discover a more glorious way.

This passage best describes the difference the Daniel Fast has made in me up until now, but the possibilities are endless. It's a deeper, more honest relationship between my Savior and I. Words do not do it justice; it simply is MORE. Waiting...to see what's next.

The Daniel Fast - Day 15

God continues to be present. I mean, I know He's everywhere, but this is a little different. I feel as if I am in the company of royalty; almost like there's a celebrity in the room. There's an underlying thread of joy to every minute, like I can't wait to see what's next. God is getting me ready for something. There's an expectancy in the air. It's not a sense of urgency, or something being rushed. But it's a waiting to see how God will move; what He will bring to pass.

In the meantime, while I wait, I will hold on to these trustworthy sayings:

1 Timothy 1:15--"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners--of whom I am the worst."

This is a basic truth. I am totally living in God's Grace.

1 Timothy 3:1--"Here is a trustworthy saying: If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task."

Whatever You have for me to do LORD-- leader, speaker, writer; however you want me to witness-- I will do it.

1 Timothy 4:7-9--"Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance"

These scriptures are from Pastor Tony Adamo's message today. They go right along with this feeling of expectancy I've had, that's building from the Daniel Fast.

Waiting to see the testimony from the test.

The Daniel Fast - Day 14 - The Epiphany

I had a sort of epiphany today. I realized that, for the first time in perhaps my whole life, food is not the main focus of my day. I hadn't even been aware that food was such a huge part of every experience I remember. Growing up, we even described our vacations and other significant moments in our lives by what we had to eat.

Food has played such a large part in my life that this realization is totally new ground for me. Food was used to show love when I was a child. Grandma's house was always stocked full of ice cream, jello and cheesecake. I was often given cookies or brownies to make me leave the room so the adults could talk without interruptions. I remember countless times of being given a grilled cheese sandwich when I came in from playing, crying, because my big brother had picked on me, yet again. Even a skinned knee warranted cookies. I can remember looking for sweets when my father was drunk again at every holiday meal. I stopped wondering why there were no family celebrations at our house, learning early that my dad was a mean drunk. But I would always eat, the richer the food, the better to 'satisfy' that need for comfort.

My family did not know the saving Grace of Jesus Christ. I never heard the idea of going to Him instead of looking to food to comfort me. I did not know His Peace, that passes all understanding.

In the last 2 weeks, God has gently been showing me that He is indeed enough--His Grace is indeed sufficient--for ANY moment in my life. As 2 Corinthians 12:9,10 (NIV) states: "but he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

This scripture has never been so alive for me as it has before today.

Oh thank You LORD, for Your unfailing faithfulness!

The Daniel Fast - Day 13

"Thy Will be done." These words were on my lips last night as I drifted off to sleep. I had that calm assurance, that peace, that only comes from fully trusting Jesus. I spent the day (yesterday) praying and fasting for a family member. Today, I recieved a telephone call, telling me an alternative project was found and is a feasible replacement for the original matter. I know the details aren't clear, but that's ok. The family member knows, and God knows, and that is enough.

You see, I had prayed and fasted for clarity in the situation.

I suppose I could have prayed for God to fix the whole situation; to provide the people and resources needed to make the requested reality appear. But that would contradict "Thy Will be done". This person needed clarity to truly see the situation as it was and take the next step needed, even if that step was to put the project on the back burner for now.

The LORD gave me the wisdom to know how to best pray over this. Fasting while praying does not change God's hearing, but it does change the way we pray. I know my faith is deepening, my trust is growing and my heart is full.

Even if I had not recieved a telephone call today, I would still be resting in His strength, content in His peace; trusting that He had indeed heard my prayer and is working those behind-the-scenes details out.

Yes. Thy Will be done.

The Daniel Fast-Day 12

I woke up early with renewed energy today. I felt led to fast totally for a family member today. I had been in prayer over this person, and felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to trust God completely. I wanted to be sure I was praying within God's will; that it wasn't just something I wanted. My prayer began to shift a little, that this person would be brought into alignment within God's desire for their life.

As the day progressed, I felt His peace. Later still, I was truly able to say, "Thy Will be done."

I believed it. Totally.

God affirmed it for me in my Bible reading. (He knows I need that.)

Psalm 147:11 in my NIV Life Application Bible states:

"...the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love."

The footnote for this verse reads, "It is our fear (reverence) and trust that God desires." My commentary reads, "To fear God is to be properly responsive to Him in awe and wonder."

I was able to complete my fast today, knowing that God is in control. He has already taken care of all my concerns and will continue to do so. I can breathe out that prayer, "Thy Will be done" and know it will be ok.

Such blessed peace. Only with Jesus.

The Daniel Fast -Day11

Today was a very peaceful day. I was not stressing about anything; I felt close fellowship with God all day.I also got to spent more time on art projects, doing little touch-up work.

Psalm 147:11 states,"the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love."

I certainly enjoyed this day, spending time in His presence. I wasn't reading my Bible or deep in prayer; I was simply being with my LORD.

I came away from this day feeling totally refreshed. I had no problem with cravings for food I chose to fast from during the Daniel Fast.

Peace. His Peace. That peace that passes all understanding.

I lift my hands in thanksgiving for His continued affirmation, as my faith deepens.

He hears me, and I am so grateful.