Stubborn as a Mule!

I had a surprising taste of God's wrath today. Not aimed at me, but a feeling I can only guess was close to approaching God's anger at the Israelites when they yet again chose disobedience to God's law. I have a neighbor whose declining health is necessitating more care than an occasional visit can give. On the one hand, she is appreciative of the help and meals given her. Yet in the blink of an eye, she can become sullen, argumentive, and downright nasty; all while contradicting herself with her own version of the facts--sometimes in the same sentence. Stubborn!

While listening to her latest rant today, I couldn't help but remember the Israelites wandering in the desert, demanding provision from the Lord. In Exodus 15 and 16, the people complained because things weren't like they were before. "...the people grumbled...'What are we to drink?'" (Exodus 15:24 NIV) The Israelites grumbled all through chapter 16, never listening to what was offered to them, never realizing it all was for their benefit, from a God Who loved them and gave them chance after chance to accept all He was willing to give.

I had to administer 'toughlove' today. I had to remove myself from the situation--of course, after saying my piece. There are programs in place to help seniors. The problem lies in the willingness to accept the help from these programs. If the person says 'no', no help can be given. The agencies cannot go against the senior's wishes.

After seeing the reality of her situation; the depth of how much help is needed, my occasional bowl of soup or pan of cornbread isn't going to cut it. But she is set in her ways--indeed, stiff-necked--and is either unable or unwilling to see the truth that has become her life.

Oh LORD, help me find the balance point between what I can and cannot do.

Year End Perspective

December 31 is here already. As I get older, the time seems to fly by so much quicker. I think it is a perspective thing. When I was little, I couldn't wait for things like Christmas or my birthday; even the weekends seemed to take forever to get here!

But now, having recurring monthly and yearly bills needing to be paid, the perspective seems to be way different. Being aware of having to budget time, money and other resources has made me lose alot of that child-like wonder of the first day of summer vacation.

My "when will it get here?" has turned into "when did that happen?"

Where did the weekend go? Where did spring go? Where did the summer go? How can it be fall already? I'm HOW OLD?

This new perspective is not without it's perks. I'm learning to live more in the moment, taking the time to enjoy the now, rather than always looking forward to the what's next.

I have the greatest respect for my husband of 21+ years, knowing he took on alot of responsibility, marrying me with a 4 year old in tow. I appreciate the man my son has become, seeing his potential rather than his faults and being so proud of his accomplishments. I am able to love deeper, say kinder words, and laugh--always laugh, more often. Encouragement comes easier than finding fault, praying comes easier than judging, and open ears and open heart work better than an open mouth.

Yes, perspective has its privileges. Thank you Lord, for growing me and showing me.