I've been sick lately. Not an allergy/cold/headache-y sick...
I've had an ongoing chronic health issue that's gotten worse over the last two months. It makes me feel very tired and well, crappy.
I know there's stuff I should be doing.... but I don't feel like it.
I have piles of papers with snippets of wisdom on them...(tweets? blog posts?)
Paragraphs that could be the start of awesome articles...(book chapters? articles for publication?)
I just don't feel like it.
Add the usual "shoulds" to my daily routines--clean the house (because the kitchen floor is adhesive in spots)/ cook real food (because the take-out places are starting to recognize my voice) /and the most important one,
God is still waiting for me.
Yes, there have been times when I've left Him by the wayside... because I didn't feel like ...
Reading His Word...
Talking to Him in some other tone than whining....
I sat in my own little corner, moaning my body's betrayal, not feeling like doing anything about it.
But then today... I could choose to not feel like it...or choose to do it anyway.
If I failed, I would be no worse off that I've been over the last two months. But if I was successful in my attempt...?
Please don't misread what I'm saying here. I truly had (and continue to have) a health issue that wipes me out so completely, I sometimes don't make it to the bathroom from the bedroom (a span of 12 feet). I made a pan of lasagna the other day that resulted in a 3 hour nap. There are 'invisible illnesses' that are truly devastating to experience and affect many women's daily lives. I have had a glimpse into their world and can be so empathetic to their circumstances.
I can only speak for myself.
I chose to do a long devotion today, even though I really didn't feel like it.
God was waiting for me--and graciously poured out His wisdom and love on me.
In His strength, He will guide me! In His unfailing love, He will Lead me!...the Lord tested the Israelites...'For I am the LORD who heals you!' (Exodus 15-NIV) Promise after promise. No hand slap because I've been away--He knows the afflictions I've had. I'm not condemned for my feelings.
The mess may still be there. You still may not feel like doing anything about it.
Choose to feel like it. Even when you don't want to. And watch what my God will do.