I'm glad to say I no longer feel like an afterthought.
Here I was feeling like something you would scrape off the bottom of your shoe, while He was working things behind the scenes and urging people to encourage me. Whether a blog post, a Facebook or Pinterest post; even a tweet...all His timing.
God used wonderful writers, especially Lisa Buffaloe, to speak to my heart--even in the days I could do nothing, barely feeling anything. The enemy loves when we are in such a state. In Lisa's book, "No Wound Too Deep", she writes,"He (Satan) is out to spoil anything good by planting doubts, insecurities, lies, and stirring the pots of the past to create havoc and destruction." And on the very next page, Lisa points us to truth, "We don't have to limp through life. We don't have to believe the enemy's lies that some things are just too bad or too deep for God's healing touch."
The harder Satan leaned on me, using memories of these injustices I faced, the more I felt the roots of what God wanted to grow in me strengthen.
A diamond is only formed from great pressure and heat.
Lisa writes, "There are blessings in the wrestling, the not letting go...the wrestling to venture beyond the quick, addictive temporary 'fixes' of this world, or the shrugging of the shoulders and caving in to believe the enemy's lies. The blessings come when we wrestle until the dawn of understanding breaks." (emphasis mine)
God will not waste any of my experiences.
God didn't waste any part of Saul/Paul's life. (after his conversion. You may read his story in Acts, chapter 9)
God used his background, his training, his citizenship, his mind, and even his weaknesses to accomplish His greater purpose.
So while I was being trampled, sucker punched, and left for dead by the side of the road, God had something better in mind.
Don't get me wrong--I hated it when I was going through it. If I had known what was going to happen, I probably wouldn't have chosen that route...and I would have missed the growth that can only happen in the valley.
So what did I learn?
First and foremost, God is still God. He is the same, all the time. And that brings me to the second thing.
God's opinion of me is the only one I need. I had made the fatal mistake of allowing what someone else thought of me to skew my own vision of myself.
Scars remain. Proof I was in the battle. But I'm a bit wiser...and a lot more interested in what God has to say; how He chooses to use me in whatever situation He allows me to be in.
Are you willing to let God do the same to you?
You will never know all He can do with you until you allow Him to have all that you are.
Are you in?
Content from Lisa Buffalo used with permission. Thank you Lisa!
Be sure to visit her websites,
This part of my journey has been a battle.
I'm weary, battle fatigued, and wary.