Afterthoughts — Part 1

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Forgotten, like a suitcase in the rain…

Left out, no longer important…not caring..

Special days forgotten…

Messes not cleaned up so they start to stink like the rancid drippings they are…

Afterthoughts…

Hurt.

Anger.

Tired.Of.Not.Being.Heard.

Tired of not being understood…

Just tired…

Having less strength to do day-to-day things,

But having the same expectations, plus added demands placed upon a cracking foundation…

I want to run!

But where would I run to?

There’s a cleft in the Rock…c909

Self image battered.

Feeling useless.

All lies, but the hurt has been done.

Fresh wounds, still oozing…

Sigh. Pain, again…

The battle isn’t over–

but a page has been turned…

And I am safe in His Arms right now.

“…I will hide you in the crevice of the rock…” Exodus 33:22(NLT)

About Cyn

Cyn Rogalski is a daughter of the Most High God. A prayer warrior, artist, speaker and writer, the work of her hands is meant to draw you to Jesus. Want me to speak at your next retreat, service or gathering? Contact me by leaving a comment below.
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22 Responses to Afterthoughts — Part 1

  1. This is powerful. No happy ending yet. No miraculous lifting of pain. No answer, no light on the horizon.
    But God, has you hidden, in the Rock, with Himself. For a time, for a season, until the work of the cross has been perfected in you. But you remain, captured with His love and you say…It is enough…Jesus is more than enough…He is all I have…He is all I need!

    I love you, Cyn. I love the heart of Jesus which shines so uniquely in you.
    Margie

    • Cyn says:

      Dear, dear Margie! The best prayer warrior a person can have!
      You, who understands the things I am still learning…about how time is needing for roots to grow deep in the soil so they can withstand the storms ahead…
      the value of time well spent in His Word…
      the wisdom of preparing for the future, when it is still unseen…
      Thank you dear Margie!

  2. Cyn, I could hardly see the screen through the tears that flowed for you as I read your post. Such pain, such heart. I have been there and I would give anything to take that pain from you. In times like that I have to remind myself that Our God not just gave anything, but gave Everything, for us. His son endured all the feelings we experience and more, because of His great love for us. It’s hard to fathom sometimes, especially when you compare that to the hurt and pain others inflict on us. I wish I could be there to sit with you in quiet, pray with you, hug you, even just wait it out with you. But I am with you in my thoughts and prayers. And I know that Our God shall supply all our needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus! Hang tight!! Love You, Michelle

    • Cyn says:

      Thank you Michelle…this is one of those times when I must remember I am not responsible for the thoughts, perceptions or acts of others…
      Waiting for the Honey From this Rock..(Psalm 81:16)
      Thank you for your prayers. -Cyn-

  3. Dear Cyn,
    You carry so many burdens for others and me, now I want to help carry your burden…. THANK YOU for being real, transparent, open, and vulnerable with us!

    I’d like to pray what I call “The Princess Warrior Prayer” which was given to me by my friend Kimberly Dinick, so here it goes…
    Arise worship warriors, arise! For your God has seen your low estate and He has heard your cries from on high.

    Right in the midst of the taunting of your enemy there is coming a roar and loud cry in the heavens over your lives that will drown out the voice of your enemy. Its reverberations will shake your enemy loose from your lives and cut him off long before he can get to you.

    You see your chains BUT your God hears your praise. You see and feel the wind and stormy seas around about you BUT I see a glorious new day over your horizon… You feel the quaking under your feet but it is I who is causing it. I am shaking all that can be shaken and just as it was in Peter’s prison long ago…..the chains will fall off and you will walk out of your prison untouched and unscathed.

    Trust in Me even though I know it feels hard and confusing and the pain overwhelms you at times. KNOW that your cry has moved Me to answer you, for you could have turned away from the Living God and yet, you have clung to ME even more fiercely.

    Your heart has blessed Me. Your love for Me has taken aback the Father of Lights in whom there is no variation or shifting of shadows and the Father will pour out His good gifts upon all of you. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so!

    Say to your mountain, “Move out of my way!!”

    DO not fear little ones…..you have more strength and power than you realize. I have given you all your voice back. Use your voice and say what YOUR great God says!

    I will help you make decisions. I will give you wisdom and understanding in your dealings. I will give you favor for you are all highly favored of ME.

    KNOW that like Hannah I have heard the cries for your children. I have seen your offering of tears poured at My throne for the lives of your children. There is coming that day when they will understand the cost you have paid to honor Me with your life. They will look to you as their example of faith and unrelenting trust in Your God and stir their hearts to look for the Ancient Path…and I will take their hand and lead them to the WAY everlasting.

    I will laugh at your enemy and bring derision in his camp. When he tries to get you one way I will block him and his plans will come to naught right before your eyes. For it is the Lord who has purposed that His daughters will be free and led to safety. He has arranged a date with each of HIS Beloved(s) that will sweep them off their feet.

    God knows and sees that it has been like thick darkness covering over you and hiding His glory. His plans and purposes however, will prevail. Look for the Lord in everything. Look for Him to show up for you in unexpected places. God knows how to send help from His sanctuary right when you need it.

    Do not always say, “Lord, it seems like my enemy is winning”…NO! I am setting your enemy up and he will fall into the trap and pit he thought was made for you.

    I see everything. I am WITH you all. I will come for you and visit you in your dreams. I will speak tenderly to you and in this way you will know it is the Lord. I am interceding for your lives with the Father and He HEARS Me. He always hears ME. Because I am in you and you are in Me, your Abba hears you too.

    Arise in strength, daughters of God! Arise and go forth and watch your crooked path become straight. Watch and see that no enemy can take you out of my hand. Watch as what once lay in ruins be rebuilt into a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit filled with My light and glory.

    You may think all around you is dead….but that is just what you can see with your human eyes. Some things must die so I can bring new life, a new strength, a new wineskin to pour into.

    I will give you new eyesight and you will experience seeing past what is in front of you and instead see and know I am in the midst of you. Fear not little ones for the Father loves you. Fear not and look to Me in your trial as a handmaiden looks to her God.

    • Cyn says:

      What a beautiful prayer Susan! It is not only mountains in my way, but people as well….and you know (of ALL people!) how …’sticky’ they can be to deal with.
      I’m waiting…holding fast..really getting beat up in this storm. BUT GOD..! Has a better plan…and I will serve Him all of my days.
      Appreciate your prayers through this battle! The words ‘thank you’ seem so inadequate, thank you dear prayer warrior of the prayer warriors! -Cyn-

      • Thinking of you, Cyn… just came by to check up on you, to see how the battle is going…

        Another prayer for you… one Graham Cooke uses when he’s beset by critical people, those who are hard to be around… I call it “Hide Me”

        For when you feel exhausted, exposed, and ready to give up… this is one of Graham Cooke’s prayers that I’ve adopted in my own prayer life:

        “Father, I’m weary of being misunderstood. I’m tired of the ungracious scrutiny of others. Hide me, dear Lord, in the Secret Place of your presence. Keep me from people who speak about me, but not to me. I am helpless against the riptide of their words. I cannot defend myself. Refresh my heart to look on them with love.

        I accept this part of your cross. Change my heart to speak with your love and sculpt my life through these situations. Let their hard words chisel away my roughness, forming Christ.”

        With all my love,

        Susan

        • Cyn says:

          I’m so grateful to you for your prayers, Susan. Thank you. I know you have gone through much worse; I must keep looking at the bigger picture, not focus on one day. Appreciate you more than you can know, this side of Heaven. -Cyn-

          • There’s no such thing as “bigger” pain or grief – it’s all one and the same… pass the baton to Jesus – it’s a relay race – and you’re winning this race… just cheering you on from the next lane over…. thinking of you often and hoping that you’re coming through on the other side…. real soon!

          • Cyn says:

            I so appreciate your prayers for me Susan!
            This situation has required a “hard reset” rather than just a “refresh”. The enemy had me believing, momentarily, that ALL of my encouraging and nurturing was intrusive to EVERYone!

            Like I said, only momentarily.

            The Lord has sent ME encouragers throughout this ordeal who have spoken healing, prophetic, sweet words–to show me I was either to be a catalyst for change in their thinking/heart/life…or it was God protecting me from disaster.

            Either way, I am praising God! And you, dear Susan, are one of my beautiful prayer warriors. Thank you.
            -Cyn-

  4. I’m so sorry you’re going through a dark valley, Cyn. Lifting you up, and rejoicing in the clefts He provides.

  5. Carol Weeks says:

    Oh, Cyn! I’m so sorry you are having to go through this. Just know that extra prayers are going up. And you’re right — you are safe in His arms…

    • Cyn says:

      Yes Carol, I think it’s KJV…it “stinketh greatly”…but as the late B.G.Nevitt used to say, “It came to pass, it didn’t come to stay.” My heels are dug in…waiting for the other shoe to drop…as it were…Thank you so much for praying.. -Cyn-

  6. Cyn, Prayed for you today. Thank you for being real, for the privilege of being your burden-sharer, friend and sister. Thanks too for reminding us that these hard places come to all of us, but that God is also available to all of us and will come through it with us. You must have recently had a great victory that the enemy is hounding you. Hope you know you are not alone. Thought of you as I’m working on my blog post- that when we turn toward the SON the shadows fall behind us.

    • Cyn says:

      I appreciate you so much Delores…you have been one of my ministry’s prayer warriors almost from the beginning. A lot of things took a hit today…and the battle isn’t over…
      I so appreciate your faithfulness! -Cyn-

  7. Leigh Watson says:

    Many prayers covering you as you journey through this painful time. God bless you dear!

  8. Danie Marie says:

    Wow, sweet sis! Powerful words. Been there, and yes, it hurts. And I’ve been angry too. Just so you know, I’m praying for whatever it is you’re going through, or who you’re ministering to. Thank God there is a cleft in the rock and we are kept safe in His arms.

    Love you Cyn!
    Danie

    • Cyn says:

      Thanks Danie. It’s a hard place to be right now..and I’m not liking it one bit.
      But I’m not supposed to like it, I’m supposed to trust..
      Appreciate your prayers sis! -Cyn-

  9. Beautiful! I like how you share your message so clearly and yet so simply. ~ Bobbi

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